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Script


  • (On the bus, Dexter and his friend Douglas E. Mordecai III are listening to a Walkman; both boys are heard laughing; Dexter gasps and both he and Mordecai laugh again)
  • Dee Dee: Hey, what are you nerds laughing about?
  • Dexter: We are enjoying a scientific learning program which is tickling our intellectual fancies. Now leave us alone!
  • Mordecai: Let's hear it again!
  • (He rewinds the tape; Dee Dee grabs the dual headphone jack and pulls it out of its slot)
  • Mordecai: Hey!
  • Man: Chapter 8: Reproduction.
  • (Dee Dee gasps)
  • Dexter: Oh my! Douglas, quick, shut up the tape!
  • Dee Dee: I can't believe you nerds are listening to that!
  • Boy: Yeah, that's the only way they'll ever learn about it!
  • Becky: Jeez, like, how uncool.
  • Gwen: Dexter, you're such a dork.
  • (Everyone except Dexter and Mordecai laughs)
  • Mordecai: You take that back! Dexter's way cooler than any of you guys, lemme tell ya!
  • Dexter: Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
  • Mordecai: When I've been note of you have an interdimensional multiverse like my good buddy here.
  • (Everyone except Dexter laughs)
  • Dexter: I do not think they understand, Doug...
  • (Dee Dee reaches down toward Dexter's glasses and covers her eyes with them)
  • Dexter: Hey!
  • Dee Dee: Look, I'm Dexter!
  • Dexter: Give those back!
  • (The bus pulls up to Huber Elementary; the students get off the bus while chattering; back inside, Dexter is seen crawling on the floor looking for his glasses)
  • Dexter: Hey, has anybody seen my glasses? Oh, my parents are going to be mad at whoever took my glasses. Aha!
  • (He picks the glasses up and puts them on; Dexter looks at the bus in a kaleidoscope-type view; he leans to both sides)
  • Bus driver: Hey, kid. You better get moving. School's about to start.
  • (Dexter looks at the world around him and gasps in awe; inside the glasses, six copies of the bus driver appears)
  • Bus driver: Well, go on, kid! Get going!
  • (Outside the bus, Dexter walks up to Mordecai)
  • Dexter: Hello, Douglas.
  • Mordecai: Hey, Dexter. *he looks at Dexter's glasses* Hey, what happened to your glasses?
  • Dexter: Oh, they got a little scuffed back there, but they're okay. You might even say that they give me a whole new look.
  • (Dexter laughs sheepishly; inside the glasses; six Mordecais appear)
  • Mordecai: Oh-ho, I get ya! Say that's pretty nifty! So where can I get a pair?
  • (He laughs; on a nearby rock, Becky and Gwen watch the boys have their conversation; Gwen whispers into Becky's ear)
  • Dexter: Oh, good one! *laughs* But seriously, let us make haste, our education waits!
  • Gwen: Hold it right there. We just want to know what's up with those glasses.
  • Dexter: Oh, it's my new look.
  • Becky: Well..., we just wanted to tell you... we think you're, like, really cool.
  • Gwen: Yeah!
  • (The girls laugh and run off to the left)
  • Mordecai: Hmm... Fascinating. Apparently, your new style of eyewear is considered "cool" by our female peers.
  • Dexter: Indeed. I think I will experiment these for a little bit.
  • (A school bell rings; Dexter is in one class with several students looking at him in admiration of his broken glasses)
  • Dexter: *to Becky* Psst! Hey! Do you like my new glasses? Just checking. *short pause* They don't look dorky, do they?
  • Becky: Oh, no, Dexter. They're super cool.
  • Dexter: Oh, thanks! I'm glad you think so. You know, the really cool thing about them is when you put them on, it... uh, it... Here, try 'em for yourself.
  • (He hands the glasses to Becky; she puts them on and immediately becomes delighted)
  • Becky: Cool! Super cool! Oh, wow, these are SO amazing!
  • Dexter: Hey, hey! Give them back.
  • (He puts the glasses back on his face)
  • Dexter: Just remember, this is my idea.
  • (In the hallway; Dexter is seen walking to his next class; Mordecai is walking down the hallway carrying a set of books)
  • Mordecai: Hey, Dexter! Over here! Hey, good bud!
  • (The other students look at Dexter's broken glasses and run over to him; Mordecai watches as the crowd of students admire his glasses, much to his dismay)
  • Boy 1: So, Dexter, my man, tell us again about the glasses.
  • Dexter: Well, it is just a little experiment I am trying.
  • (The girl spins her eyes around)
  • Girl: Far out, you really are a genius.
  • Boy 2: A regular, fashioned, wonder kid.
  • Boy 1: A cool guy besides. So, tell me, cool guy, where did you get those glasses?
  • ('The students all ask questions; Mordecai walks away sad with his upper body dangling)

  • (The next day on the bus, several kids are all seen wearing broken glasses)
  • Becky: Do you think my glasses are cool, too?
  • Gwen: Yeah, but they're not as cool as Dexter's.
  • (Mordecai is seen sitting alone; Dee Dee pops out from behind the seat)
  • Dee Dee: Huh?! I can't believe it. My brother Dexter's the coolest kid in school. What kind of trick is this?
  • Mordecai: It's no trick. He's conducting a scientific experiment.
  • Dee Dee: I don't know. Looks like the "experiment" is conducting him.
  • (Back at the other side of the bus; Dexter is seen looking at his hand)
  • Dexter: Look at your hand. That is pretty cool, huh?
  • Students: Wow...
  • (Dee Dee hides behind her seat)

  • (At Huber Elementary, Mordecai is at his locker; Dexter walks up to him)
  • Dexter: Hello, Douglas. Long time no see.
  • Mordecai: *disbelief* Yeah, I haven't seen you in a while either.
  • Boy: *to Mordecai* Nice glasses, dork. *laughs*
  • Mordecai: Dexter, is this still part of the "experiment"?
  • Dexter: Experiment? What are you talking about? And, by the way, the style is to break your glasses.

  • (At home, Dexter is seen watching TV with Dad; Dad looks at Dexter's glasses)
  • Dad: Hey, Dexter, don't you think we should get those fixed?
  • (Dexter folds his arms)
  • Dexter: No way, man! These are my ticket to Coolsville!
  • Dad: Ha! Listen, "man", I know you think you came up with the broken glasses bit...
  • (Time warp to a younger version of Dad; he is seen wearing a pair of broken glasses and bumps into a telephone pole; he is later seen playing with a hula hoop)
  • Dad: But back when I was your age, that was a fad for a while, but then we all just moved on to the next cool thing.
  • (Time warp back to the present day)
  • Dexter: Oh, don't worry, Dad. I have been calculating several strategies to give up this style for many years to come.
  • (On the bus, everyone except Dexter is seen looking away while holding their broken glasses in hand)
  • Dexter: See? Yesterday, plaid glasses were cool. Today, red glasses are cool. Tomorrow, who knows?
  • (The bus is heard coming to a halt and the door is heard opening)
  • Bus driver: Hey, kid. Do you need any help?
  • Mandark: No, thank you. No additional assistance is necessary.
  • (Mandark is seen getting on the bus; his left arm and left leg are both seen wrapped in casts)
  • Boy: Check out the cast!
  • (The students clamor in agreement; Dexter clenches his fists)
  • Dexter: Daaah! That is not cool!
  • (Becky is seen looking at Mandark with a grin on her face)
  • Becky: Are you kidding? That's the coolest!
  • Dexter: Hey, hey, people! The glasses! Remember these?
  • Becky: *ignoring Dexter* Oh my gosh, those are incredible!
  • Boy: Dude, what's up with the casts?
  • Mandark: Well, you generally receive a surgical supportive splint for a fracture or dislocation of any ligaments or for broken bones in lame man terms.
  • Becky: Mandark... Your casts... are like so cool!
  • Mandark: You think my casts are cool?
  • (Dexter walks near Mordecai and jumps onto the seat)
  • Dexter: Bah, casts are just a fad!
  • (He takes the glasses off and realizes)
  • Dexter: Broken glasses are uncool.
  • Mordecai: But a broken heart is uncooler.
  • (Dexter turns away in sadness; Mordecai looks at him and smiles; he clears his throat and presents Dexter with the headphones and Walkman)
  • Man: Chapter 9: Photosynthesis.
  • Dexter: Oh, this'll be even cooler than the last chapter.
  • Douglas: Yeah, it will.
  • (Iris cut to black)

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