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Script


  • (The sun outside the house starts going down; inside the house, Dexter walks toward the bookshelf and pulls the book that opens the lab toward him; the bookshelf retracts inside the wall and slides up to reveal a metal door)
  • Computer: Password identification, please.
  • Dexter: Star Wars.
  • (The door opens; Dexter pulls out a clipboard and is carried over to Computer on a conveyor belt)
  • Dexter: Good evening, Computer. Put me online to this evening's agenda.
  • (Computer pulls up an online task list on her screen)
  • Computer: First, there's studying for your French examination tomorrow. And secondly, your schedule to break the DNA code.
  • Dexter: *putting fists on his hips* Some things are a little more important than French class, Computer!
  • (He turns to a DNA module, which turns on; he then is laying in a seat moving two levers that control a giant toenail clipper; Dexter is then seen watching a hamster run inside a wheel, and he speeds it up, causing the hamster to run faster; last, Dexter is seen feeding several fish some food from a test tube)
  • Dexter: Aquatic nutrification...
  • (Cut back to Computer's screen; everything is noted as completed, except for the first task)
  • Computer: Completed and noted, but be advised that you still haven't studied for your French test, and it's almost bedtime.
  • (Dexter is seen playing tic-tac-toe)
  • Dexter: *annoyed* I told you some things are more important than French class, Computer!
  • Mom: Kids! Bedtime!
  • (Dexter thinks of something)
  • Dexter: Hmm... Hey, who needs to study? With my genius, I can learn while I sleep. Computer, which genius invention of mine shall I use to achieve the desired effects?
  • Computer: Well, I don't know, Dexter. You're the genius.
  • Dexter: *admittedly* This is true, so, *points his finger; speaks in a demanding tone* now bring me the Subconscious Discographic Hypnotator! And don't give me no lip!
  • (Later, Dexter is seen going through several records; he pulls out the French record with accompanying music; Dexter blows the dusty cover and places the record inside the player)
  • Pierre: Bonjour, bonjour. Je m'appelle Pierre.
  • Sophie: And I am Sophie.
  • Pierre: We'll be your tutors for zis lesson today. We'll start with breakfast items.
  • Sophie: Cheese omelet.
  • Pierre: Omelette du fromage.
  • (He repeatedly says the translation; in the morning, Dexter goes into the kitchen; Mom is seen washing the dishes while Dee Dee is seen eating breakfast)
  • Mom: Morning, Dexter.
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage.
  • (He scratches his side and goes to sit at the table)
  • Dee Dee: Morning, poophead!
  • (Dexter shakes his fist in anger)
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage! Omelette du...
  • (He places both of his hands on his mouth; Dee Dee smiles in a funny manner)
  • Dee Dee: *teasing tone* Mmm, Dexter...? What's my name?
  • (Dexter shakes)
  • Dexter: *quietly* Omelette du fromage.
  • (Dee Dee jumps onto the table and points at Dexter's face)
  • Dee Dee: That's all you can say!
  • (She repeats her line in a singsong manner while kicking the plates off the table while Dexter watches to his dismay; A red-and-black swirl appears behind Dexter as it pulls back to reveal him in his French class)
  • French teacher: All right, class. I've burned the entire curriculum of the year down to one question. So, take your time and watch your *he leans toward Dexter's face* grammar, because this one really counts!
  • (He slams a piece of paper onto Dexter's desk; Dexter looks at the paper and thinks)
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage?
  • (He writes it down on his paper; the camera pulls back to reveal that Dexter passed his test; Dexter is later in his math class)
  • Math teacher: Okay now, a train traveling at 460 watts from England by the circumference of the city of Wisconsin, terminating at the air speed to ground-base ratio, what city in France would the trains collide? Uh, does anyone have any ideas on this one?
  • (The students all point at Dexter; he shakes hoping that he won't get chosen)
  • Math teacher: Dexter.
  • Dexter: *nervously* Eh-heh-heh... Omelette du fromage?
  • (The math teacher blinks twice)
  • Math teacher: Hey-hey! That's right, the city of Omelette du Fromage!
  • (Dexter scratches his head with one finger; the background fades to the playground; Dexter is still scratching his head)
  • Dee Dee: *singsong* That's all you can say!
  • (She repeats it over and over)
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage! Omelette du fromage!
  • (Two girls turn their heads and walk over to Dexter)
  • Girl: What did you say?
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage?
  • (The girls hug the boy genius as hearts fly out of them)
  • Girl: Oh, Dexter, Dexter, French is the language of love. *dreamily* Oh, say it again, Dexter...
  • Dexter: *whispering* Omelette du fromage.
  • (Several girls are seen around Dexter sighing; a shadow appears from the bottom of the screen)
  • Bully: Hey, Dexter! You talkin' to our girls?
  • Dexter: *worried* Omelette du fromage! Omelette du fromage.
  • Bully: Hey, whoa, slow down, buddy. I didn't know it was like that, man.
  • (A flash of happiness appears on Dexter's face; fade to a game show host)
  • Host: In the French language, how do you say "cheese omelet"?
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage.
  • Host: Right again! The biggest winner of all time!
  • (Dexter is inside a recording studio)
  • Dexter: *singing* Omelette du fromage...
  • (Several people pick up Dexter's records; some high school students are seen wearing yellow shirts with "Omelette du fromage" written on them; Dexter is then seen jumping over several basketball players and misses the hoop; a card with "Just dü it" is shown; three people give Dexter moneybags; a man driving a hot rod with a woman is seen pulling up to a restaurant where a waitress wearing clothing like Dexter's is shown running up to them; a newspaper with an article regarding the miracle cure is shown; Dexter is shown in a crowd wave in a city; at the United Nations, Dexter is shown addressing all parts of the world)
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage!
  • (The crowd cheers while people from several countries are seen shaking hands; a Times magazine is shown with Dexter on the front cover with a tagline that reads "Man of the Year"; Dexter is shown at a news conference)
  • Man: Hey, Dexter, Dexter. Can I get a saving?
  • Dexter: Omelette.
  • (A parade is shown; a man inside a cheese costume with a fork is shown leading the parade, followed with two women wearing costumes sitting on a frying pan float with Dexter sitting at the handle; a man inside a slab of bacon walks behind them with his arms sticking out; at home, a crowd of people is seen standing outside Dexter's home; a white limo pulls up and Dexter gets out; three pieces of French bread is shown behind Dexter; a woman gives her baby to Dexter; he kisses the infant as camera flashbulbs start flashing; Dexter, while grinning, drops the baby; inside his room, Dexter is seen standing in front of the entry to his lab)
  • Computer: Password identification.
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage.
  • Computer: Access denied.
  • (Dexter frowns)
  • Dexter: Omelette du...
  • Computer: Access denied.
  • (The main door is blocked off with a jaw-shaped door; Dexter is seen with red steam coming out of him)
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage!
  • Computer: Access denied. Be advised: Complete computer memory meltdown engaged.
  • (Dexter slaps his cheek)
  • Computer: All active experiments will be terminated and demolecularized. Laboratory will self-destruct in 10 seconds and counting.
  • (She starts counting down; Dexter shakes his arms)
  • Dexter: Omelette du fromage!!
  • (He starts crying; Dee Dee leans her head in from the right and continues teasing her brother)
  • (The laboratory explodes, leaving a huge hole in the back of the house; Dee Dee continues teasing her brother as the episode fades to black)

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